But here's what I do know: I have the most wonderful family, immediate and extended. They love me no matter what. I have a wonderful man in my life. He is driven, he works so hard, and despite our disagreements here and there (that I usually cause :-/ ) he loves me so much. He will be the most wonderful husband and father. I have a job, and although it's not glamorous, I am working, and I am making a difference in some people's lives that I interact with, and I can feel pride at the end of the day that I've earned my paycheck and the things I buy with it. I am healthy. Most if not all of my loved ones are healthy. I am getting an education. I may not be getting it done at the rate that most people do, but I have had the opportunity to learn many different subjects until settling on what I want to study in more depth. And I believe in a higher purpose. I believe I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and knowing that His love is unconditional also puts joy in my heart.
So after all of that, here's what I have to say: Screw you weird Utah culture. It's weird that most people are married at 19 or 20 years old. Weird I tell you. I might be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but I'm not sure I agree with people getting married so young, and having children so young and all of that, with hardly any real life, wordly experience. I'm grateful I've gone through what I have and the experiences I've been through. All statistics show that relationships are more successful and fulfilling when both partners have been together longer than 2 years, have a college education, and are over the age of 25. ALL STUDIES IN THIS AREA OF RESEARCH SHOW THE SAME RESULTS. So, I am no failure whatsoever. I am happy and exactly where I am supposed to be. I've let it bother me in the past, but that is no more. Utah is just weird, and just like models in magazines and special effects at the movies, NONE OF IT IS REAL. And because it's not real, there's no use using it as a measure of where you are and who you are. I am the happiest I've been in my life. Children will come one day, when we are ready for them. Right now I am so happy with Justin and my nephew Kayson, and our many friends with children and grandchildren. A wedding will come one day, and it's going to be a wonderful amazing day. I actually love looking forward to it, and that day is going to be even more perfect because we will have worked so hard on our relationship to make sure it will last the rest of eternity. Graduation will come, and I will have worked harder and become more well-rounded than most graduates since I've gone through four different majors.
My advice for anyone should they ask me is this: Do not pay attention to what everyone else is doing around you. The standards will always be false. Live only by your own standards and Heavenly Father's standards. Get married when you want to, not when you think everyone thinks you should, or when everyone else does. I almost did that, and I would have gotten a divorce a year later. Do not feel bad or like a lesser person because you think everyone is moving on and progressing when you feel you aren't. Progression is an individual growth processes.
I love my life, and that is that. Here are some things that have made me happy in my 24th year, and I can't wait to see what goes on during my 25th year :
