Half-Marathon

Ok, so I know I am waaaay late posting about thiss (try a month!) but I'm in school so cut me a break :)

I FINISHED MY GOAL OF COMPLETING A HALF MARATHON!!!

That's right folks. On September 29, 2012 I crossed the finish line after running for two hours and fifty minutes. I was the 434th finisher out of 540. Did I run fast? Nope! Was I going to set any records? NOPE! But did I finish?

YOU BET YOUR A$$ I DID!!!!!

I was super nervous to do the whole thing because I felt like I could have trained a lot harder, but I also knew I was going to see this through. To prepare for the race a few days before, I drank a TON of water, I'm not kidding, I had to pee about every 30 mintues for a few days. The night before the race my husband and I went out with some other runners and had dinner at Roosters. Carb load! I had pasta with alfredo sauce. Yum!!! The morning of the race I ate brown sugar oatmeal, a banana, and a goo packet. I had another goo packet about two hours before the race, and another packet about 40 mintues before the race.

Here is a picture of me that my mom took right when I got up to Huntsville park. Haha I look as nervous as I felt!

My mom and mother-in-law met me at the park got this picture. (BTW, it was really cold, and I was trying to keep my muscles warm, vanity ceased to be a priority at this point! )

And then I went to the bathroom and then my mom snapped this pic real quick of me and my mother-in-law. You can still tell I am a bundle of nerves. I can't even make a decent smile face!

And then, the buses were loaded. 

Wow, I look like I'm being dragged to a prison or something ;) About 20 minutes later we arrived at the start line, where I used the bathroom again and ate a goo pack. Then all my gear went in a bag, and the race began!

Sometimes I ran...

And sometimes I walked...

And I felt SUPER great...

... until about mile 11 or so, and then everything started to catch up with me, so the last two miles I walked more than I would have liked, but then, ahead of me, in the distance like a mirrage, was the finish line, and I was such a happy girl to be crossing it!!!

The funny thing about being done was that it seemed like it had gone by so fast. It really was a great race. I felt good, I didn't feel like I had killed myself. My knees felt great, my feet felt pretty good besides my left big toe ( Sadly, I eventually lost that toenail, it's trying to grow back now :(

Yes, I finally got my "trinket" as my friend John Morrow would say (the medal). I've wanted one forever, and I wanted to do something that I never in a million years thought I could do. I can't describe the amazing feeling of finishing this race. I learned a lot about myself and that my will power can do amazing things. There are still a lot of things I need to work on, self-motivation being one of them, but this was definitly a step in the right direction, and I don't feel bad or conceited at all when I say that I AM AMAZING :)



Lifelong Challenge

Well, a few quick notes about my running and then I'm going to move onto something I need to get off my chest. The half marathon is coming up in a couple of weeks and honestly I am more scared than excited. Is it too late to back out? No? Alright, I'll do it then :) The 10k I did a few weeks ago at Fort Buenaventura was soooo hard. Granted, it was a trail run with natural terrain obstacles and a crap-load of stairs, not to mention a river to wade through, so by the time I was done I felt like my legs were going to give out underneath me. I had to walk a lot more than I would have liked, but as I like to say, I am still passing the people on the couch! My time was horribly slow, I think it took me and hour and thirty three minutes, but whatever. AND I got to do it with one of my best friends, Jordan. She's an animal, she finished in a little over an hour. We've been through so much together, through thick and thin, and this experience was just one more fun experience to add to the mix.

Okay, so moving onto a heavier topic. I've had this issue I've struggled with my entire life, and I can sum it up in one word: FAIRNESS. This one word has many facets though. Maybe I can straighten it out in my head by straightening it out via blog.

I would say the word first came to mean something to me in elementary school when I got my first taste of bullying. It just wasn't fair that I got bullied and teased and lied to. After all, I was a good person and a good friend. Why didn't my friends realize that and stop teasing me? Why did I care so much and let them hurt me so bad? Why did I have to find new friends to finally stop the torment? It isn't fair that any child should be bullied, especially when they didn't do anything to bring it upon themselves.

As I got a little older I realized that it wasn't just me that got hurt, that everyone gets hurt, I began to get angry that the sorts of people that bring others down so they can feel better just never seem to reap what they sow. Karma is so slow! It just wasn't fair that these people get away with being mean to others, and nobody calls them out on it. Nobody yells at them and nobody leaves them. They just get to keep on with their feelings of superiority and they even keep their "friends" that suck up to them and play the game as well to earn the attention and affection of this mean person. Is that messed up or what?

And as I have grown into an adult and started to ponder on more important things, like my relationship with my Heavenly Father and the things I need to do during this short life on earth, my feelings about the word fairness have gotten both more and less complicated. Less complicated in that I know that there is a plan for all of us, and it isn't up to me to decide who gets punished for their wrongdoings, He must have meant for a lesson to be learned in there somewhere. But more complicated because now it seems like the people that should GET IT, that should truly understand why you should be a good person, are some of the meanest people I've ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with. They are people who CLAIM to be Christians, who CLAIM to understand what Jesus's life on this earth was all about and who count themselves as members of a religion that are supposed to always do what Jesus would do: love without prejudice, accept apologies and forgive and forget, pray for those that have hurt you, and always, ALWAYS, leave judgement for our Heavenly Father. I've known people like this my whole life, even been related to some of them, and I find it interesting that some of the most genuine, kind, sincere people I know are not members of any organized religion. Is it the pressure of seeming more worthy than everyone else?  Fear of standing up to someone because you don't want to become their target? The pressure of fitting into the mold? If that is the mold, I don't want to fit into it.

My struggle now, and probably will be for the rest of my life, is to understand how people can act so completely against what Jesus lived his life to show us to do. But you know what? I pray for them. I love them. It's not fair, and I don't like it, but they need help in the most profound of ways, for these kinds of people probably don't even realize how truly hurtful they are, so it's going to take awhile before they fix it. They hide behind self-rightousness and pride. And one day, when they do realize the damage that they have done, they are going to be really sad, and in those moments, they are going to need love and support and forgiveness. I pray that I will be more accepting of this lesson that I obviously need to learn. It just isn't in my hands, and feeling bad because the world isn't fair is only poison to my heart because HE didn't promise that it would be. He only promised that he would be here for us.

And in that vein, I want to say how much I love the people who have dealt with this kind of adversity, have been on the receiving end of such struggles, and come through it with grace and more importantly, nothing bad to say about their tormenters.  I say thank you for setting an example for me of how to not only survive it, but to grow from it and be some of the most beautiful people I get to spend my time with. My mother is the most amazing person I know, inside and out, and without her tormenters and her struggles, she would not be the shining diamond of an example she is to me today. My husband has every reason in the world to hold onto hate and grief for many reasons, but he has the most amazing sense of humor, and such a love for his fellow man that he is willing to put his life on the line for strangers. My sisters have had so many experiences with adversity, but they aren't bitter or self-pitying, they are loving and intelligent, with beautiful children and loving husbands. I'm glad they got married first and had children first, for they have set such an example for me. My sister-in-law has the worst luck in the world! But she keeps picking herself up and carrying on, all the while laughing and giggling. She has the most infectious personality, she just draws your happiness to the surface. What a gift! With people like this around me, I can only be a better person. So I guess what I need to do is always focus on the positive, not on the negative. Count my blessings, as the saying goes, and in my case, the blessings are people. I love you all, and I hope you are reading this in case I haven't told you lately :)

Oops

Wow, have I really  not blogged since June? My bad :) I wish I could say it was because I was off on so many adventures.... but it's not. I'm just a procrastinator. So anywho.... the running has been going OK. I say OK because when I actually go, I am so freaking happy with myself. The problem is that I have been slacking. I am usually only doing a Tuesday and Saturday run now, although my distances have been going up so hopefully I will still be okay when the half marathon comes around.

The Kiss Me Dirty race was so fun! All of the girls in our group dressed up in black and pink and declared ourselves the Mud Bunnies, complete with pink bunny ears and a white bunny tail, although by the end that bunny tail was anything but white. Here's some pictures from the event:

So as you can see, we had a TON of fun in the mud! Despite the fact that I have been running some, I'm still kind of disappointed in myself for not keeping up with as strict of schedule as I could. I'm working on this, but it has been hard to get out of bed in the mornings, it just feels so good to sleep! I know that if I continue down this path though, it's going to be one difficult day on September 29th :-/  And to add to that, I start school next Monday, and I have a feeling that after work and school, I'm not going to have a lot left in me. I'll try though! I'll DIE trying >:-I

Mistake

Alright, so right off the bat I'll just get it off my chest... I made a big mistake Saturday. It's been pretty nice in the mornings here in Utah so far this year, so when I decided to wake up at 7:30 on Saturday to do my big five mile run, I figured I was going to be able to do it in the nice coolness of the morning. Um... no. I didn't get out the door until close to eight, and by the time I walked the two blocks to the track, I was already feeling the sun on my shoulders. Exactly 2.7 miles later, I felt like I was going to die. My head was pounding, I felt like I couldn't breath, and I was sweating everywhere. I got light-headed and I was moving as slow as a snail. I sat down in the shade and cooled down, then walked home. I felt horrible. This was the end of my week three, and that dang five-miler was supposed to be getting easier to do, not harder. Alright, there it is. I'm not proud, and I'm certainly down, but I'm not out yet. In fact.... now here's the upside and the reason I'm still going strong, my first 5K is this Saturday the 30th, and I picked up my race packet on Saturdayn a few hours after my run. My friend Melanie invited me onto her team with the other ladies from her boot camp class. We all met and picked up our packets and then had lunch to discuss our outfits. We are Team Mud Bunnies hahaha. This race is called "Kiss Me Dirty" and it's a 5K with all sorts of muddy obstacles at the Weber County Fairgrounds. The proceeds to go cervical and ovarian cancer research, which is pretty important to me since both my mom's (mom and step-mom) had to have hysterectomies due to cervical cancer. I am so excited to compete in a race, even if I'm not in it to win it, just to have fun and finish it. I think these fun little 5k's will keep me interested and excited until the big day on September 29th.
As for the 3 miles runs I do Monday and Wednesday, those have been really great. I can complete those now without stopping to walk, and definitly don't feel in danger of passing out when I am done. I'm still not fast, I complete them in about 32 mintues or so, but I don't care. I complete them, and I feel great when I am done. I KNOW this is working, a month ago I wouldn't have dreamed I could run about 10 miles per week. No way!!! So I'm pretty excited about that.
Next week, I don't get to run little 3-milers anymore, my "easy" run is now 4 miles on Mondays and Wednesdays, with SIX miles to do on Saturday. I'm not sure how I'll work that in on Saturday since I have the KMD 5k, but maybe I'll do another 3 miles that night. I guess it's not exactly what the training schedule had in mind, but I'm still out there, off my butt and off the couch, right?! Right. Oh, and here's a little sarcasm to lighten the day :-P

Progress

Week two of running went really well, I must say. It didn't go easy, but it went well as in I finished everything I was supposed to. Two more 3-milers on Monday and Wednesday, and a big ol' 5-miler on Saturday. Monday was pretty average, but on Wednesday I decided to push myself, so I ran the whole first 1.67 miles, then I walked for two minutes, and then I ran the rest of the way, for a total time of just over 30 minutes. I don't know how I did it, and maybe I won't do it again for awhile, but it was pretty good for me, and I'm not ashamed to say I'm proud of myself. Then came Saturday, and that 5 miles took me an hour to complete. I'm refusing the be down about it because the fact is, I did it. And that's means a lot to me. I've never even attempted something like that in my life, and although it took me awhile, I didn't feel like I was going to die when I was done, and I felt great the rest of the day. In fact, one day later, I'm really not even sore. Now that might be an indication that I'm not pushing it hard enough, but man, just starting this whole process is definitly pushing me outside my box, so I refuse to view myself as anything else but a success :)
Another thing I love is that my husband has been so supportive. When he looks at me with pride in his eyes every time I finish my run, I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I can't wait to run across that finish line in September with him by side, knowing we did this fabulous, challenging thing together, much like the feeling we will both have the day our first child is born. This marathon is a major step to us being ready to take up the huge challenge called "Parenthood" next year. First things first though... and week three in next!

I Was Running...

You have to say the title of this post like Forrest Gump, or else it's not funny :) As the title alludes, I have been running. I started last week, and so far the excitement of doing something good has carried me through the whole week and the weekend. There are a number of reasons that I started: (1) I am super lazy and tired of not being able to go out and do the things I want to do without getting tired or sore, or wearing the things I want to wear because I have big thighs and muffin-top, (2) I am basically not outstanding at anything, I'm pretty average at everything, and I want something in my life to be proud of doing that requires hard work to accomplish, (3) I want to spend more time with my friends, and a few them are runners, (4) something to do with my husband and dog, and (5) I want to get in really good shape before we have kids next year so I have a hope of getting my body back post-baby.
What better way to get started than to have a goal in mind? My goal is the Huntsville Half Marathon on September 29th. I love the Huntsville/Eden/Liberty area because my in-laws live in Eden and we are up there a lot, so I know this run is going to be an absolutely beatiful run. Also, one of my husband's fellow officers was just recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer, and so it was decided that anyone who was willing and able would join a team, and we would try to raise funds for his treatments. So in addition to the reasons mentioned above, I can also add 'for a good cause" to my list, and that one feels good too.
I found a training guide online for an absolute "off-the-couch" beginning runner. It basically consists of differing and every-lengthening distances to run, but with one constant: you run for 3 minutes and walk for 2. You just keep doing that over and over again until you reach that day's distance requirement. It's not about finishing in a certain amount of time, it is simply about finishing! After all..

One of the reasons I can't stick with things sometimes is I set my sights too high and I get discouraged when I can't reach them right away. This 3 minute run / 2 minute walk thing is sooo do-able. The first day I did this (last Monday) I completed my three miles in about 37 minutes. The next time I did it was last Thursday, and my time was just slightly faster by about five seconds. The point is, I actually did it, and I did it without cheating or making any excuses with myself to not do it. HOWEVER, I was supposed to do a 4 mile-er on Saturday, but we went up to my cabin and I ended doing a two mile hike with about two hours worth of trail-clearing and fence-fixing, so by the time that was all said and done, my husband allowed me skip the run :) He figured I had done enough. I promise never to skip it again though!
Today's run I decided to push myself a little, so I ran the whole first mile (took a little over 11 minutes), and then I did the run/walk thing for the remaining two miles. This took 35:57. I beat my previous two times by a minute! These little triumphs are what are going to keep me going.

I've also tried to look up a few diet / nutrition tips that don't require me to make huge drastic changes that I will have trouble doing while I am also trying to change my lifestyle by running  a few times a week. One major tip I keep seeing over and over is to drink your weight in water: one oz of water for every pound you weigh. For me, thats about 126 oz's per day. I started that last week, I don't get there every day, but it's a heck of a lot more water than I used to drink, so I count any day I try to get there as a success. Another tip is no more soda! I'm not a huge soda drinker anyway, but I do occassionaly like my Pepsi with dinner, but besides one cheat this weekend at the cabin, I have stopped the soda drinking. The no-sugar tip is going to be hard, I'll admit. It's not that I stuff my face with candy at all hours of the day, but I do like an occasional sweet or two, usually in the form of a bite-sized Reese's or chocolate-covered raisin. I'm not going to set myself up for failure and say never again. Life is too short! But I will promise to keep it to a very bare minimum. I will also try to limit my intake of white bread/rice and all junk food and ice cream.
I will try to post once a week or so on my running activities and weight and thoughts. I want to blog about this because I want to see how HARD this was for me at the beginning, and look back on my thoughts and difficulties and discouragements and triumphs so that the next time I think I can't do something, I can go back and read about my journey from beginning to end, and realize that I CAN do hard things. I can do things that have nothing to do with instant gratification and have everything to do with dedication and commitment until a larger reward is received at the end. A girl who has never run a mile at a time in her life is going to run a half marathon in 17 weeks. Yep, she sure is.  Here's a few images to keep me going:

And what I want most is to be fit, confident in my own skin, and able to conquer anything!!!

I am going to be patient with myself and allow the hard work I do every time

I run to slowly work, and not get discouraged when I don't see changes right away.

I WILL fulfill this promise to myself and keep with this.

I'm going to do the HARD stuff so that I can do more GREAT stuff.

I so wish that I could depend on running getting easier, but I think the only thing I can

hope for is that it gets easier to do understand how hard I have to work, and that in

some sense, I get used to how hard a workout really is, and so it no longer scares me.

Yes, I can, and YES I WILL!!!